ANDERS MAGE PAGE 2.0

I don't know if this is the Mage LARP (live action roleplay) rules set you were looking for, but here you go.

While most other World of Darkness games can be simulated in live-action through the use of costumes and minimal props, the vast challenges presented by the Mage system necessitate much more drastic steps to ensure complete immersion in the genre. Mage LARP players must satisfy some stiff prerequisites before being allowed to play:

• a Bachelor's Degree in Philosophy
• a large bank account or very generous friends (only the Storyteller, really)
• a history of delusional behavior or
• a certification in Shamanic training or
• proof of a month or longer stay in a Shao-lin or Shorenji kempo-oriented Zen monastery
• understanding parents/friends/spouse/etc.

In addition, it is recommended that Mage LARPers have non-permanent jobs which will allow the player to move around quite a bit.

Three can keep a secret if two are dead.
Ben Franklin

Once players have been selected, you are almost ready to start the game. Have each of the players sign the following document in blood (permission to photocopy granted).

I, ______________, do hereby attest that I was not in any way coerced into playing this game, that I enter this game of my own free will and sound mind, and accept the consequences of my actions, regardless of what they might be. I further attest that I will in no way implicate the writers of this game, nor the Storyteller, in any deviant acts or property damage that might result from my involvement in this game.

Signed:
Date:

Okay! Now you're ready to play!

I wouldn't recommend drugs or insanity for anyone, but, hey, for me they worked.
Lou Williams, recovered

The first step is to simulate the Awakening. Once you start the players into the world of Mage, you won't be able to roleplay the period prior to the Awakening again, so make their mortal time count. We recommend harassing phone calls in the middle of the night and anonymous accusations of terrorist activity mailed to the player's place of employment.

Once the characters have begun to suspect that something is going wrong, step up the process. To simulate the harried and paranoid environment of the world of Mage, have the players drink several cups of espresso before each session. Any players whose hands are not shaking after half an hour should then consume enough Vivarin to kill a horse (Note: should you experience constipation or loss of appetite, you're on the right track). Once the players begin jumping at shadows in the corners of their eyes, you can begin simulating Technocracy interference in their lives. Have the players sit down in front of a television and watch eight hours of Community Television and C-Span to guide their increasing paranoia.

At some point the players are going to start coming down from their very legal caffeine high. Consult the alt.drugs.availability FAQ (updated weekly) to find the source nearest you. Have your players consume mass amounts of amphetamines to boost up their doubtlessly flagging energy. For short, aggressive games, crack cocaine may be substituted for amphetamines.

The game should now be progressing at a rapid pace, although there may be many interruptions. To prepare the players for the next stage, mix several doses of liquid LSD into a blue Kool-Aid drink and serve to the players. Inform them that reality may be shifting very soon, and they should be making preparations for The Shift.

Things you can do to increase the pace: Read Kafka out loud, especially Metamorphosis; show Fantasia; play chess, but use sleight-of-hand to move the pieces when the players aren't looking. Play the 17 minute version of "An I Godda Devida" by Iron Butterfly.

About a half an hour after having the players drink the Kool-Aid, encourage them to try out their new-found abilities. Time should dilate and contract, as should the walls. Pictures may talk. The music contains hidden messages. Allow the players to explore their surroundings for about five hours, then begin the paranoia again by playing taped police broadcasts from hidden speakers in the room. Play "A Clockwork Orange" constantly on the TV. Turn up the blue and red bubblegum machines.

Your players may feel the urge to fly, but you should remind them that flight is a high level power and that they probably haven't mastered it yet. Those who insist will be rewarded by gravity, the toughest Paradox spirit of them all.

Remember to award experience points liberally, but give the players a chance to advance. In fact, the players should be approaching high levels of Quiet by the tenth hour of Kool-Aid time. Now administer the peyote buttons and push them over the edge. Make sure each player is resting comfortably on the pillows as they take the buttons. They may experience temporary loss of bodily control slightly after. Players who are starting to lose energy should also take more amphetamines.

I am a god! I can do anything! I can... Hey, is that a peanut-butter sandwich?
Ben Hutton, god and epicure

Once the buttons take effect, allow the players to step outside and experience the world from a new philosophical perspective. Readings from Berkeley, Teillhard, and Pirsig should be alternated with readings from HS Thompson, Phillip K. Dick and Thomas Pynchon. Keep the players away from the neighbors.

If the neighbors do see your activities, don't worry. Most citizens will simply believe you are part of an SCA re-enactment, and will attempt to ignore you. If you see a cop, walk quickly and calmly away. Remind the players that the cops work for the Technocracy.

If your players have escaped detection this far, congratulations, but please remember that every good campaign has an end. Make yours as climactic as possible by introducing the players to datura and dropping them off in front of the police station. Be sure to visit your players from time to time in the institution.

in case any of you haven't figured it out yet, I am not even the slightest, eensy-weensiest bit serious. 'Course, you knew that, right? To put it even more simply: Don't do this!