ANDERS MAGE PAGE 2.0

Wisdom always has its price. Odin had to sacrifice his right eye in order to become the wisest among man and gods, and to learn the secret of the runes he had to sacrifice himself to himself. How great sacrifices are mages willing to make in order to perfect their understanding of the world?

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Alienation

As a mage becomes more and more powerful and enlightened, he will also become more alien and remote. The life of newly Awakened mages is already beyond the comprehension of mortals and the visions and threats surrounding the Masters is equally incomprehensible to lesser mages. They perceive the world on a far higher level than anyone else, but this understanding is impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't reached it. This makes the behavior of the Masters often appear as strangely pointless or downright confused, while the Masters are actually manipulating (or following) reality on a very high level. A riddle said at the exact right moment will grow in the minds of the listeners and make them understand the truth in a few years. A sudden gesture and the web of forces will reverberate across the universe.

This makes enlightened mages somewhat hard to deal with for the unenlightened and especially the Sleepers. Most Sleepers can't understand the problems, powers and limitations mages have, and the mages find the lives of Sleepers dreary and limited. From their perspective, most Sleepers are truly asleep, unaware and unthinking pawns for greater forces. The mages can see through their shallow personalities to their inner cores, where their real power lies untapped. Many mages (especially those skilled in Mind or Spirit) become so good at predicting how Sleepers will behave that they hold no surprises.

Insanity

On the other hand, are the enlightened mages completely sane? Maybe they are not ascending, but becoming more and more insane. Since madness and inspiration on this level are impossible for lesser minds to distinguish, the Oracles may truly be stark raving mad. Are the Masters really seeing the true nature of the universe, or are they simply deluding themselves (and their students)? No one knows. Not even the Masters.

Most Sleepers would regard mages as insane anyway, not only because of their ludicrous claims of being able to warp reality and their obviously silly conspiracy theories about the "Technocracy" (any psychiatrist could diagnose this as typical paranoid schizophrenia), but because they have outrageously bizarre ideas such as the existence of demons, that computers could become intelligent, that meditation can solve all the problems of the world or that the Earth once was the center of the universe. Most people are disturbed by such unbalanced people and won't listen to them.

Many mages also fear insanity, especially in the form of Quiet. They have seen how Masters spend days quietly discussing philosophy with imagined people or fight their own hallucinations. They know that the line between madness and enlightenment is so fine, that it is easily lost. Perhaps that is what happened to the Marauders? Some mages try to control their own minds and perspective rigorously to prevent insanity from gaining a foothold, but only succeed in avoiding enlightenment. The only way to ascend is to forget the notion that there is any difference between sanity and insanity.

Traps

Another danger on the path is the many philosophical and practical traps and pitfalls which exist for mages. Beside such dangers as enemy mages, Paradox, the seduction of power and evil, madness and hubris there are other roadblocks on the path hidden within the teachings of the Traditions. They are insidious because they are intimately linked to the philosophies the mages encompass. In order to circumvent them they must risk confronting the possibility that everything they have learned so far is false.

Mages of the Akashic Brotherhood sometimes become so fixated on keeping harmony that they become unable to develop further. Any change would disturb the sacred pattern or change they embody, and thus they believe they are close to the truth. Some hermetic mages forget they are dealing with the real world and lose their path in clouds of abstractions, where truth is just another concept (this phase is sometimes called "The crossing of the Abyss of Daath"). Certain Euthanatos fall into the trap of carelessly killing anyone they perceived as having lost their possibilities in this incarnation, without listening to their intuition. Many Cultists of Ecstasy mistake hedonism for enlightenment.

The traps and pitfalls on the path to Ascension do not end when the mage goes beyond the simple hinders of his Tradition. Instead, they become more subtle. One problem many mages encounter is the imbalance between the inner and outer world. All sufficiently advanced mages know that there is no real difference between the mind and the physical world. Each is a mirror of the other and if one changes the other will change too. Mystics decide to understand the totality of being by understanding and controlling their own minds and souls, while the Oracles decide to understand and control everything by total understanding of the outside world or even a small fragment of it (since all of existence is reflected in each Sphere). Both are completely, yet subtly, wrong as they slowly paint themselves into a corner. They lose the balance between inner and outer, and cannot move further until they realize this. Since they believe they are very close to total understanding, they usually continue to struggle in vain to gain the understanding they would easily get if they stopped struggling to find it.

Potentiation

There is another problem with very enlightened mages. Their actions become much more powerful and influential. It is hard to do something badly when you can do it well, and since they see deeper into reality and understands it better, their actions will have much more profound consequences than the same actions done by lesser mages. Usually they are much more controlled too, but that only means they have the intended effect — not that the effect is good. A Master losing his temper and cursing someone will hurt him, and when a powerful mage decides to create something, that thing will be created regardless of the cost or consequences to the rest of reality. The mage is moving through reality (and breaking it) like wet tissue paper.

Another problem is that the mage influences the reality around him very strongly. It resonates with his paradigm whatever it may be. Around an old and wise shaman the spirit world is much closer to reality and the old signs retain their meaning. In the presence of one of the Cardinals of the Celestial Chorus, everyone feels the reality and power of the divine. Not only does this enhance the magick of their tradition, it usually disrupts magick of other traditions or even consensus reality. It also affects other parts of reality. Technology tends to break down when confronted with the wild and dirty nature of the Verbena, and many Sleepers (including some mages) unknowingly change their personalities just to fit in with the new reality. The most powerful mages change reality so much by simply perceiving it that the strain can erupt into Paradox. The Oracles would cause massive rifts in the Tapestry by simply watching static reality too closely.

Another danger with this influence is that not only the conscious paradigm of the mage becomes real, but also his subconscious fears, psychoses and fantasies. A paranoid mage will influence reality around him so that he really will be hunted. A mage believing in the existence of Nephandi agents will create them. Depressed mages actually cause the world to become a grayer place. This is not just Quiet, but an actual warping of reality. Usually it will take some time for the influence to take effect, but sooner or later it will become real (or at least noticeable).

Beyond Good & Evil

Another effect of enlightenment is the mage sees beyond the ethics of lesser people and start to understand the big picture. This can be rather chilling to others, as the Master apparently begins to become more and more amoral. In reality, he is just following much higher ethics which the others cannot understand. Such a mage may break the arm of a student to make a point, knowing that the wound will be healed in a short time, while a very important lesson will never be forgotten. The pain, fear and surprise was just a part of the lesson and he still has cordial feelings towards the student despite appearances.

Other mages might appear completely ruthless in their quest for Ascension, since they know that Ascension is worth infinitely more than any finite amount of pain and suffering. Through their understanding of all possible realities, not even the most kind-hearted Master would hesitate one moment in choosing the less evil alternative. When an Oracle of Time offhandedly remarks that Holocaust was (will be?) a good thing, he really means it. Of all possible histories he has seen, it was the least evil alternative and will in the end (after a few thousands of years?) become a source of a greater good. This of course does nothing to reassure normal mages.

Of course, part of this demoralization may just be a gradual alienation from lesser beings. Mages are Nietzchean Overmen, able to see through all illusions, break down any hindrance and create whatever worlds they want. The most chilling thing is that they are often right.

The Death of the Ego

The final step is the ultimate sacrifice. The mage must be not only willing to sacrifice his power, his body, his mind, his soul and his individuality to Ascend, he actually has to do it. The final step towards Ascension is the death of the Ego, which will irrevocably vanish forever. No one knows what comes afterwards, or even if there is anything but Oblivion after the final step. This fills most mages with total fear, and many won't undertake the final step, instead proclaiming themselves as Ascended and perfected while they really are incomplete and filled with hidden fear of the unknown. Instead of dying, their egos grow and become perverted with power and understanding, until they are farther from Ascension than even the Sleepers. Only those who boldly dare to risk total annihilation can truly Ascend.